Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
