So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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