I think I won the penis lottery.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
