Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Randomize
