sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
