i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
