I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
