he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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