I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
