just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
