Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
