found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
