Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The air was thick with penises
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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