I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
