Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
