new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
