Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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