It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
