There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
