im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
