My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
