Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Randomize