There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
where are my eyebrows?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
