i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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