So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
