Got a toothbrush?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Two words: blizzard sex
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
