Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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