so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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