I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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