He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize