thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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