worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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