do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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