I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How external is "for external use only"?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
