Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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