so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
