I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You are a genius and a whore.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
