pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
