think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
