I could have mohawked her pubes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
