Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
