Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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