People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
