You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Bring me that man meat
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
