Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
