You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
