i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize