dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
