Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize