Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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