I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
