someone threw a dead crab at me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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