I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
