Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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