dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
