Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
