If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
