he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
