I hate all girls vehemently.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
