Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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