The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize