Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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