pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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