I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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